So you have head lice?
Who have you told? (Besides me.) In so many of the emails I receive, people
say, “I don’t know what I will do if my (insert close relative or regular
acquaintance) found out!!” In my own home,
there is no stigma around having head lice.
My children have never been grossed out about it, even in those times
where they have had it. We respect the
bug but we know that it is no match for us. So, talking about head lice with
the people we know – friends, family, co-workers, teachers – is a non issue. I
would love a world where everyone can be so comfortable with this issue; most
of the time and energy wasted on the problem of head lice is due to
misinformation and paranoia. Because I am familiar with what head lice are (and
are not) I think everyone should just talk about it freely.
But it isn’t that easy.
I get messages from teenagers who say that their parents would ruin
their lives if they found out. I hear
from parents of children who will be cut off from seeing people they love if
their head lice is discovered. This issue can bring blaming and fighting and
stress. People’s lives are often
restricted or tormented because of the head louse. The tiny louse can bring a
huge tension into the home that can have very real consequences.
So, who have you told?
Who will you tell? I usually
encourage people to tell everyone about their head lice because we will not end
the stigma of head lice unless people get comfortable talking about it. And of
course, this is still what I think is best. Ramit Sethi said, “Success in life is directly
proportional to the number of awkward conversations you are willing to have.” I know it can be difficult and embarrassing to
start the awkward conversation about head lice. But once it is started, I believe you will
find people are more understanding and helpful than we often expect they will
be.
Unless they aren’t. There are things in life that are so
much worse than head lice. Panic. Isolation. Fighting.
Abuse. If the people in your
circle are going to be hurtful to you because of head lice, then I understand
why you might want to keep your head lice a secret. It is such a polarizing
issue. I have met some people – mostly people who
have never had head lice before – who feel that there is some moral obligation
for people to disclose if they have head lice.
As if going to work when you have head lice or sending a child to school
who has head lice is seen as the most irresponsible act imaginable - the
equivalent of going into public with the plague. It is so sad to me that with
all the horrible things in this world, people still get ostracized or bullied because
of lice.
Because of this, though I would prefer that everyone talk
openly about their head lice, I don’t think they should absolutely have to or
should be forced to. Who you talk to
about your head lice is your personal choice.
If you discover that your child has head lice, do you have to tell the
teacher or the parents of the other children?
Do you have to tell your roommates or your family members? That is a question you must answer for
yourself. Whatever
you do, I hope you can find at least one person who you can confide in about
your head lice. I’d say email me, but the reality is, by the time I respond to
your email, your louse problem might have already come and gone. If you can think of one person in your life
who is open, caring, non-judgmental, and isn’t grossed out by bugs, maybe that’s
the person you should reach out to. Test the waters by asking, “Have you ever
had head lice?” Their response, and the panic or lack of panic that goes with
it, might inform you about how they might take your news. And everyone will take the news better if you
can demonstrate that you actually know something about this problem and are
taking steps to beat it – get informed by reading the posts on this blog and
check out the research links.
And if someone discloses to you that they have head lice,
follow the golden rule. Treat others the
way you would like to be treated. Kindness is the best lice treatment that there is.
